galacticberries:

So I think I figured what bothered me so much about the new episode, and it was how Sam reacts to Dean.

Sam throughout the past 2 episodes had a strong, commanding presence. He was concise and direct with his orders and he mitigated like a boss. He took care of Nick despite the obvious reasons to want someone else to, he helped Jack feel more comfortable in his own skin, and he managed to keep it all together.

I get that this is because no one else could. Sam needed to step up and lead despite how much it scares him, and I would be okay with Sam relaxing and letting Dean take over that role. Him just stepping back to let Dean step up would be fine, and expected even. But how the show handles it bothers me.

Sam doesn’t just step back, but he’s meek and apologetic throughout the episode. He’s saying sorry for every little thing that happens, as if Sam’s waiting for Dean to say “This is where you fucked up. This is where you turned into a monster”, like Dean has done every time he left.

I mean Sam is stuttering and fumbling over his words. He is jumpy and antsy. He quite literally stands behind Dean the entire episode. Sam wanted to wait for Cass but Dean insisted they leave. Sam wanted to wait tell morning but Dean insisted they hunt now. Sam wanted to slow down but Dean insisted the push forward.

Once, Dean listens to him and that’s only because Jody is there. He would have bulldozed right past Sam if she wasn’t right beside him.

And this is the problem, Dean does not care about Sam right then. He cares about Dean and he has no regard for how Sam is feeling or how Dean’s actions are affecting him. This is not an inherently bad or selfish thing, after what he went through Dean has every right to be grumpy and angry and pissed.

But that’s not really why I’m upset.

I’m upset because every single season Sam is hyperconscious of how his actions are affecting Dean, or Bobby, or Cass. Sam apologizes for every little things and it’s because Dean told him that he only fucks shit up. I mean season 8 was all of that coming to a head to address what it was doing to Sam. Dean hasn’t ever gotten this kind of criticism until Kaia this season, but even his was given in a more sympathetic tone than Sams.

If the show addresses how quickly Sam backs down, or gives up control, and how Dean does nothing to stop it, then I’m actually super happy with this episode. I would absolutely love if this is addressed and it’s this whole arc delving into why Sam is acting like that, because it’s not actually out of character for him to do this.

But I don’t trust like that, I know how this show treats Sam. I’m just waiting for the narrative to villainize Sam for acting like a normal human again