I love the image of Sam taking a moment by himself, for himself (and the way he looks around first to be sure he’s really alone), but I also like the irony that Sam ISN’T alone. It may not be intentional on the part of the writers that this rare moment happens during the period when Sam’s privacy is being fundamentally and continuously violated by possession, but it certainly adds a layer.
Also, I think the fact that he’s reading an Oz book in the wake of Charlie says something about the tenuous, indirect ways Sam goes about connection, but also about the ways he seems to find it easiest to have feelings and interests at one remove, triangulating rather than taking a direct line.
“So yeah, before y’all see Supernatural a lot of work has gone into it, but a lot of work has gone into us trying to figure out every second.” (NJCon 2018)
I don’t care who you are or what you stan for, the moment you reduce Sam’s desires to leave the hunting life, to get out of the emotionally neglectful and abusive situation, who craved stability and safe that hunting would never provide, who thought the greatest thing was to sit down and have a regular Thanksgiving dinner that he could never have, to just a simple, “he was selfish and abandoned Dean,” you are dead to me.
artherra 