Person A: You know… the thing Person B: The “thing”? Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD
As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:
Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.
Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”
Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.
Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.
Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.
Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.
Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”
Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”
[polyglot laughter and grumbles of frustration in the distance]
Polylingual here: the main thing (also the most annoying thing) is when you speak one language for long period of time, your speach pattern changes, so when you return to your native language, in my case from English to Russian, the speach pattern remains. So you start speaking your own language in a way you speak English, for example, to the extend that people would assume you are foreign, because this is not how you speak [your language].
On the pros, when I speak with my siblings, who are also polilingual, it’s quite fun, because we would start in Russian, switch to English mid-sentence, then back to Russian, which would annoy and puzzle everyone else in vicinity.
Also hard stan on the idioms and wtf is that word. Double stan on “what’s the english for [insert something that is hard to explain in layman’s terms]”.
“Trece (13) reasons why” the critically acclaimed novel in which i forget to read the numbers in English
“Mil novecientos ochenta y cuatro (1984) by George Orwell” the thrilling sequel in which i forget to read the numbers in English
“Doce (12) o’clock” the highly expected miniseries in which I FORGET TO READ THE NUMBERs IN ENGLISH
“Y as in why or y as in and (in Spanish)?” The side story in which i have no idea what language is being used
I’m aiming to be a polylingual, but it may not be the greatest idea given that I’m good in czech (my native language) and english and studying spanish, and stuff like this already keep happening:
once came excited from a spanish lesson and blurted to my (czech) mum “Do you know what perro mean is spanish? Dog!” immediately followed by, “oh I mean, uh, pes (czech word for “dog”), sorry”
HEY KIDS! WANT TO LIVE IN A PANOPTICON?! YOU SURE DO!!
HEY PARENTS! WANT TO NORMALIZE INTRUSIVE SURVEILLANCE AND MINIMIZE PRIVACY RIGHTS?
WELL YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS!!
CW/TW for under the cut:
abuse, child emotional abuse, mental health,
I feel like vomiting.
Its like someone took all the toxic, disgusting, vile, broken aspects of capitalist society and *distilled* them into one product.
Maybe I’m a bit sensitive to this in particular. But I was an intensely anxious child. My parents consistently and grossly invaded my privacy as a child to the point where I started to suffer from delusions that people around me could read my mind.
When I was out of the house mum would occasionally go through my room, my draws, cupboards, bags, school books, and pockets.
I never knew when it was coming. I wouldn’t know until I got home and she presented the “evidence” of wrongdoing and demanded explanation (anything from unfinished schoolwork to empty food packets).
To this day I start to feel severely I’ll if I stay away from home for more than one night. Even though I no longer live with parents.
So I think I probably feel more strongly than most about the necessity of privacy and agency for children.
But this right here feels like it was custom *designed* to induce paranoia.
Fuck. I am so angry and sad and sick.
Gods protect these kids. ❤
There’s plenty of similar products and the reviews just get worse.
Please please don’t do this sort of thing to your kids. I cannot stress just how damaging creating this atmosphere in your home is.
It might seem like a funny joke or a great parenting tool, but believe me your kid will deeply feel that lack of trust.
Teach your kid good morals, teach them compassion and empathy, teach them to be “good” purely because its the best way to be.
Kids need room to make mistakes. They need room to fuck up, realise their own fuckup, and fix it *without* authority figures finding out and taking control.
Otherwise all they’ll ever learn is that rules must be followed blindly, and authority figures must be feared and obeyed rather than respected.
And for the love of god don’t teach your kid that their privacy can justifiably be violated by authority figures based on the suspicion of “bad” behaviour.
Don’t teach them that the constant threat of punishment is the only reason to be good.
This is what these “toys” do.
Please don’t buy them.
‘tis the season to show kids love, compassion, and to be better human beings, not scar them for life
We all love disaster movies! The cool special effects, the underdog stories, the underlying themes of hope. As cool as they are, they do tend to use misconceptions about natural disasters. This normally wouldn’t be an issue since Hollywood will always embellish but it’s important to know the true science behind these phenomena should you ever encounter them.
1) Pyroclastic flows will kill you almost instantly, you cannot survive a direct hit
Movies guilty of this: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, Dante’s Peak
Pyroclastic flows exceed 100km/h and reach temperatures over 1,000°C. You definitely cannot outrun it in either car or on foot. The boiling hot toxic gas, ash, and lava in the flow will kill you instantly and pummel your smoking corpse into oblivion. Sorry, Chris Pratt.
2) Tsunamis do not crest, they are more like a sudden flood than a wave
Movies guilty of this: Literally any movie with a tsunami ever
Tsunamis are massive and sudden floods caused by the displacement of ocean water due to earthquakes or massive landslides. They’re not tidal waves and thus do not crest. It’s poetic, but inaccurate.
3) Hail is always spherical and doesn’t fall in big cinder blocks of ice
Movies guilty of this:The Day After Tomorrow
Hail can get quite large and can definitely be fatal, but they are exclusively spherical. Hail is formed by water droplets cycling through the updrafts of a thunderstorm and the rotational movements make the resulting hail a ball.
Looks more like a stage hand is throwing the remains of an ice swan than a hail storm
4) You cannot freeze instantaneously. Not even in space.
Movies guilty of this: The Day After Tomorrow, Geostorm, The Cloverfield Paradox, Sunshine
Space, and certain places on Earth, can get exceedingly cold. The coldest temperature ever recorded on Earth was −89.2 °C. That’s damn cold. But you still wouldn’t flash freeze into a peoplesicle within mere seconds. Intense cold can kill you quickly if you’re completely exposed but it would still take time before your body would be a thoroughly frozen chunk of meat. As for space, it can get quite cold, but it’s also an empty vacuum. There’s nothing around you but empty void, which means there’s also nothing to transfer your body heat away from you. Without convection, your body heat would be lost via radiation and that can take a long time.
5) Earthquakes over 10 on the Richter scale are physically impossible on Earth.
Movies guilty of this: 10.5
You would need a massive fault line to carry that sort of energy. Something on the scale of going through the earth’s core. Which does not exist . Even then, if such an earthquake would occur, the planet would literally explode.A 15 magnitude earthquake would release energy on the magnitude of 1×10^32 joules. That, coincidentally, is the same amount of energy contained in the gravitational binding of the Earth. Simply put, anything greater than 9.9 on the Richter scale is impossible and would cause the Earth to explode.
6) California will and can not sink into the Pacific like a big slab, and it can’t break away from the rest of the US.
Movies guilty of this: 2012, 10.5
Most movies cite the San Andreas fault as the reason for the cleavage, but even this isn’t enough. The San Andreas fault is a transform fault, meaning the North American plate and the Pacific Plate are slowly horizontally grinding past each other, not pushing away. As California is a part of the greater Pacific plate, it literally could not snap free from it to “sink into the sea”. Because if the entire tectonic plate underneath California where to flip over and sink then the entire ocean would drain away into the mantle.
7) You can’t sink in lava. You also can’t stand near it without being burned.
Movies guilty of this: Volcano, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Lava is molten rock, and is incredibly dense. In fact, it’s three times as dense as humans, who are mostly water. If you were to cannonball into a lava pit, you would dip in a bit before bouncing to the top and floating. You would also burn up and die super quickly. Because fresh lava can exceed 1,200°C! Even standing a couple feet away from a lava flow, you would feel the intense heat radiation. You would lose your eyebrows and probably the top layer of your skin if you stood too close. There’s a reason why volcanologists wear protective suits. Sam and Frodo would have been roasted.
Can we make one of this but with Anatomy, biology and microbiology facts against Horror and Slasher movies?? Some mistakes are funny to watch but they’re so common that they became annoying.
the bigger hailstones get, the less round they are, though you’re right that they’re not square.
the really big ones are spiky like a koosh ball of death, because they’re basically an icicle that grew in a wind tunnel.
artherra 