you know that trope in shows or movies where the evil character is in captivity and starts talking to the Heroes to try and mess with their minds, and starts analysing them going “face it you’ll never be good enough” … “you try to act tough but inside you’re broken” … and the Hero gets really rattled and upset.
well i want a scene like that where it doesn’t work
Villain: “You have a darkness inside of you. You try to hide it, but it’s there–”
Hero: “Yeah that’s the depression, there’s pills for that.”
Villain: “You try every day to make your mother proud. Even after death, it still haunts you. But she’ll never be proud of.”
Hero: “Well yeah, she was an emotionally abusive narcissist, she was never proud of anything I did, what else is new.”
Villain: “You put on a good show, but deep inside I know you don’t feel worthy.”
Hero: “I know, man, I’ve been trying to work on that in therapy.”
Like… give me characters who know they’re mentally ill and traumatised who can’t have it used against them because they’ve fully accepted it
Hi. It me.
I believe the exchange OP is looking for is:
“This is going to hurt.”
“Man, shut the hell up.”
THIS HAS BEEN DONE AND GLORIOUSLY!
I was really enjoying this, and then it got gay, and now I love it.
I LITERALLY WENT AND LOOKED UP EVERYTHING THESE TWO ARE IN AND I’M SERIOUSLY IN LOVE NOW
IN OTHER NEWS, WICCAN IS ME IF I WERE A REALITY-WARPING MAGICAL MESSIAH
welcome to the Young Avengers fandom, you can pick up your
complementary homosexuality at the door
Get you a man who’ll kiss you moments after watching you unvore a squid.
Thor, turning to Tony: He says this stupid damn city needs more flowers and pollen-bearing plants because you’re making him have to work a 16-hour shift every day just to feed his wife and kids
Tony: What the fuck Thor we’ve talked about this
Dog: *Bark bark bark*
Thor, sternly: No, Captain America’s pants are not fit for consumption
Steve, with no idea that Thor can speak dog: ???!?!????!!!??
Fly: *hums*
Thor, leaping from his chair: Oh what the FUCK did you say about my hair?? Oh you want to fuckign go do you?? Is that what you fucking want??? Well Step the FUCK UP then you stupid ass buzzy BITCH *summons lightning*
DUM-E: *Beep boops*
Thor, patting Tony on the back: well done my friend
Tony: For what?
Thor: Your robot is telling me all about how well his dad oiled up his joints this morning and keeps saying ‘I love him’ on repeat. He has been doing this for an hour.
Tony, immediately tearing up: oh my fucking god Thor
daredevil interacts with the xmen a fair amount but no one’s ever called him out on being matt murdock but that doesnt mean they havent figured it out it means telepaths are just really polite
on the other hand psylocke did read his mind once and almost lost her gourd cos his brain is such a fucking nightmare of crazy sensory input overstimulation and mental illness. maybe no one DOES know who daredevil is bc the other telepaths value their sanity too much to try and dig into the psyche of a blind catholic man who runs around dressed like the fucking devil
Oh so you think Steve Rogers, who grew up during the Great Depression & Also fought in WW2, doesn’t have a fatalistic sense of humour that rivals that of the most hardened Gen Z teen? Hah okay then
Peter Parker, after failing his Spanish assessment: Lol when will death befall me
The rest of the Avengers: Ohmygod Peter honey it’s okay it’ll get better I promise please don’t say things like that you’re gonna be okay-
Steve, high-fiving him: We can only pray the reaper will arrive early for his appointment with us kid
The first conversation they ever have is when they both have breakfast at the Avengers Tower. Steve burns his toast & he just looks at the wall and declares, completely deadpan, “There is literally No Point to existence At All’ and then on the other side of the room he hears the instant response of “oh mood” which is basically the story of how Peter Parker & Steve Rogers bonded for life.
tchalla hacks buckys phone location so he knows where he is if and when he wants to beat his ass
he just gets bored and he’s like hmmmmmm bucky’s only two miles away frm me time for pain buck boi
forget the tony and steve man pain, i want to just see scenes of Bucky standing in the self checkout line with a loaf of bread and TP then suddenly tchalla is there throwing a shopping cart at his ass and they start fighting. bucky in the bathroom washing his hands calmly before tchalla kicks the door open and they start fighting. tchalla having a sandwich in the park until he sees bucky coming then he throws it at his face and then they start fighting.
Bucky’s about to dive in the pool, T’Challa runs up, drop kicks his ass and flips out of the splash zone.
it’s very important to me that sometimes t’challa is in a high-level but very boring cabinet meeting about grain prices or smth and his secret Danger Phone goes off and he glances down at it and then grimly says, “i must go.” and everyone’s like, wow. our strong and brave prince. off to protect Wakanda in her hour of need again. meanwhile t’challa’s just hit bucky barnes with a SPECTACULAR flying clothesline outside a Home Depot in bed-stuy
this art established 3 incredible concepts:
1. bucky’s favourite cereal is honey nut cheerios
2. t’challa someHOW knows this?!?!?!
3. t’challa knowing this, had a parody version called honey nut fearios created and hid behind it waiting and then choked bucky out
REVIEWS FOR VENOM JUST CAME IN AND IT’S A 28% ON ROTTEN TOMATOES!!!!!! THIS MOVIES GONNA BE SO FUCKIN FUNNY IM SO EXCITED. GOD I LOVE TERRIBLE SPIDERMAN MOVIES
“If you replaced Tom Hardy for Steve Martin in “All of Me,” and switched out Lily Tomlin for a wad of chewed-up black licorice, you’d have “Venom.”“
“When a major fight scene resembles a pair of black pants caught in a white wash, it’s fair to say you haven’t taken the audience with you.”
“It’s a train wreck of a movie, mixing and matching wildly dissonant tones, bizarre plot contrivances, and a truly unique lead performance.”
“Tom Hardy seems to be trying to be the first actor to win an Oscar and a Razzie for the same performance.”
“A film that feels like what you’d expect from a below average superhero flick circa 2004, like Ghost Rider or Fantastic Four.”
^ some of my fave critic review excerpts. i have never been more excited
some more
“The movie is so ridiculous that many viewers will at least be entertained in a dumbfounded way.”
“Think Affleck Daredevil. Think Ang Lee Hulk. Think Halle Berry Catwoman. That’s… I mean, that’s really all there is to be said, I think.”
“This is a movie that somehow slipped through a wormhole from 2004. That’s my biggest take. It’s a movie that spilled from the pre-MCU era through a crack in time and space… The humor, the story beats, everything right down to the Eminem theme song feels like it emerged Kimmy Schmidt style from a sealed off early ‘00s bunker.”
“Sorry to say that Venom is pretty much a complete failure — a tonal mess that feels 15 years old, ignoring the storytelling strides that the superhero genre has made in recent years.”
“Not sure I had the intended reactions to some scenes, but fun is fun — even when it’s totally ridiculous, right? It’s too bad they didn’t go for the R rating, though.”
“The cast seems to all know they’re in a darker superhero movie, except Tom Hardy who is basically remaking Jim Carrey’s Liar Liar.”
“At one point Tom Hardy and Venom make out.”
gonna go see it just for the make out honestly
I was completely fine and then “At one point Tom Hardy and venom make out”
Peter Parker, a Gen Z kid, screws up: Fuck, guess I’ll kill myself.
Steve Rogers, an artist during the 30’s and a soldier during WWII who knows full well what Dadaism and fatalistic humor are: There’s bleach under the sink–
Bucky Barnes, the guy who listened to Steve’s art rants in the 30’s, watched his back in WWII and went through 70+ years of shit: –And a rope in the supply closet if you want options.
Rest of the Avengers: ?????!!!!!!!?????
Shuri, also a gen z kid: don’t be a coward, jump out the window. Have some style would you
Vision, the human internet who knows what Gen Z humor is: do a flip
artherra 