caranfindel:

Fic: Two short codas for 14.01

Inspired by the Beard of Despair.

One

Sam showers. He brushes his teeth. He carries on. The bunker’s full of people now, and ignoring his personal hygiene would be rude. They’re all damaged, after all. He’s no more damaged than any of them. He doesn’t have any special right to wallow in his own despair. He owes it to them to keep going, to set an example. To eat and sleep (or lie sleepless in bed but at least he sets a good example, at least it looks like self-care) and shower and change his clothes and keep going. Keep living.

(It’s fine. He’s fine.)

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babybrotherdean:

He’s insane. He’s absolutely fucking insane, and Sam’s going to be killed because of it.

Dean feels like he’s being torn apart, watching as Michael uses his hands to pump Sam full of more grace-tinted blood. Dean’s lost track of how long this has been going on- time is strange, when he’s not in control of his own body, and Michael shuts him out sometimes, too- but it doesn’t matter. It could’ve been five minutes, and that would still be too long for Sam to be tied to a chair and experimented on by some freak of an archangel.

He’s been fighting since the get-go, struggling against Michael’s hold, but for the most part, it feels like his strength has been sapped from him. Michael acknowledges him, on occasion, but mostly for offhanded mockery- he’s damn smug about the fact that he’s in control, especially since capturing Sam, and Dean- Dean’s desperate. Especially now, as Michael’s plans for today’s session slowly come to light.

“You should be strong enough now.” He says this with Dean’s mouth as he starts to undo Sam’s restraints. Sam’s visibly tense, and doesn’t seem to trust it for a second. Dean’s confused and angry. “To protect yourself, hm? It’ll be fascinating to see what you can do.”

Once Sam’s been freed from his binds, Michael steps back, casual as he walks towards the door. Dean doesn’t know what’s waiting behind it- Michael’s kept this a surprise for him, too- but when he pulls it open, and there’s a young woman waiting, smiling slow and easy-

Her fangs come out as Michael beckons her forward. “He’s all yours. Good look, Mira.”

Vampire. She doesn’t waste any time in going for Sam, and Dean’s forced to watch in horror as his brother scrambles to respond. Sam is completely unarmed, exhausted, unfed- he doesn’t stand a chance. What the hell is Michael trying to do?“

Michael, for his part, offers no response. He simply leans against the wall, arms crossed over his chest as he watches the fight that starts. Dean tries to force him to do something, to interfere- what good are all these experiments if he’s just going to kill his subject, anyways?- but Michael is unaffected.

Despite everything, Sam is holding his ground. He’s a damn good fighter, everything else aside, and despite himself, Dean feels a small bit of pride as he watches. Sam keeps distance between himself and the vampire, and when she gets close, he uses his size to his advantage, keeping her from getting her teeth into him. The way his eyes are darting around, he must be searching for something to use; anything with an edge sharp enough to kill her. Dean’s doing the same and comes up short; the room is bare but for the chair Sam’s just risen from, and it’s hardly got any edges on it at all.

“You know,” Michael says, sounding absent and unconcerned, “there’s more than one way to kill a vampire.”

Abruptly, Dean’s hit with visions of Michael’s other experiments- the burned-out eyes, the pile of corpses. It doesn’t make sense when Sam’s the one fighting, unless-

Does he really think that those injections have given Sam the power to smite people?

Insane. He’s insane, and Sam’s going to suffer for it.

Sam’s noticed the chair, too. For a lack of any other options, he’s grabbed it, using it now to keep the vampire away. He smashes it against the floor hard enough to splinter the wood, and it leaves him with a messy stake- good enough for Bram Stoker, maybe, but not for real life. Not for protecting himself against this thing.

“It’ll be too bad if you die here,” Michael hums. “A disappointment, really. I’m sure Dean will be upset, too. Won’t you?”

The last bit is directed inwards, and Dean throws himself against the wall, desperate to get through. To do something; to save his brother the way every part of his mind is begging him to. Michael’s control almost falters, enough to twitch forward towards the fight, but-

Her neck. Sam’s jammed the thing right into her neck. It won’t kill her, but it’ll definitely slow her down, and he repeats the motion more than once. There’s blood. She’s screaming. Sam’s getting desperate, and Dean thinks, for a moment, he catches a faint sort of glow, a hint of blue-

It takes four or five tries, but Sam’s brutal, messy solution proves to be enough. The vampire drops to the ground with her head nearly separated from her body, and the makeshift stake joins her, gory and blunt. Sam’s panting hard for breath, unsteady on his feet, and Dean wants to cry. Wants to go to him, more than anything.

Michael hums again, and he straightens himself up off the wall. If Dean’s resistance has bothered him, he makes no indication. “Disappointing,” he says simply, and then turns to leave the room without another word.

Dean screams and shouts and fights with all he has, but it’s no use. Sam is, once again, left alone. There’s no telling what Michael will force on him next.

292/365

ghostwinchesters:

all i need is to remember, what it was to feel alive

ao3 link

14.01 coda || sam hasn’t slept in well over a day, and castiel tries to change that (this is probably largely @transsammywinchester​‘s fault ¯_(ツ)_/¯)

word count: 1k

“Sam… you need sleep.”

A hand rests on his shoulder. “Wha–?” Sam stops staring at table and blinks slowly, focusing on Cas, who’s standing next to him and looking down at him with a concerned squint. He hasn’t really moved since Cas went to check on Jack. “Oh. Is my mom making you do this?”

Castiel tilts his head to the side a little and smiles. “Well, I did pass her in the hall and she did ask me to convince you, yes. But I would have tried anyway.”

“Oh.” Sam holds up the now room temperature bottle of beer against his eye to avoid looking at Cas directly. “How about we try to take care of you first?”

“Sam. Going by your mother’s concern and the absolute exhaustion radiating off of you, you haven’t slept in well over a day.”

“And going off of the blood that is not only dried on your shirt but also your face, you look like shit and need to be cleaned up.” Castiel stares at him defiantly. “Look, you let me do that and then I’ll… try to sleep?“

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Severed Strings – part 1

transmalesam:

Pairing: Sam Winchester/Nick

Characters: Sam Winchester, Nick, Dean Winchester, Castiel, OFC.

Rating: Explicit

(this chapter: G)

Warnings: Trauma, PTSD, Child Abuse, Past Torture, Past Rape/Non-con  (this chapter is pretty light)

(Special thanks to @sahwen for giving Nick a very fitting last name!)

On AO3

He didn’t tell Dean just how hard these last few months had been,  it had been more than just a little. Yet he didn’t want to bother his older brother with it. It wasn’t like this whole Lucifer business didn’t affecting his brother as well. He hadn’t been through what Sam had with the angel, didn’t know Lucifer like he did but Dean had Alistair running rampant once so he knew he would understand. But he couldn’t bring himself to tell his brother, Dean had enough to deal with himself, with mom especially. Or perhaps part of him didn’t want to say anything because he knew Lucifer to well, yet nothing that would make his capture easier. It was all useless, unfair, how he hardly held any advantage over the Archangel even after all their time “together” as the angel might say.

It was such a funny thought, that other than a few angels and God himself he was probably the one who knew the fallen angel better than anyone.

The only good thing to take away from Lucifer running rampant and jumping from vessel to vessel was that at least the Angel didn’t pursue him anymore. Perhaps it was a bit selfish but knowing that he was probably the only person that could hold the fallen angel permanently. He’d given the Devil a clear message a while ago: he would never let Lucifer possess him again. Since then the angel had given up on him. So perhaps he did have one advantage over Lucifer, his only one. He wished it made him feel less afraid knowing he actually had something, anything to hold against the person who once took everything from him. But no, even that didn’t give him power, because now Lucifer had burned through perhaps a dusin vessels not pursuing him, and in a way he was responsible for that to.

They hadn’t heard anything about the angel since he jumped out of Vince. And while he felt concern about not knowing he also felt relief. The Angel was the last person in existence that he wanted to see, that he wanted ANYTHING to do with every again. He wasn’t looking forward to the time where they would have to face him again. Honestly stepping outside the bunker now carried such a heaviness to it, he could never relax, not as long as he knew Lucifer was still out there somewhere.

He’s found himself wandering the bunker looking for scraps of knowledge to memorize, anything to keep Lucifer out of his mind.

Pretty hard when the Angel was their main priority and when he kept hearing about yet another failed possession, the Angel burning yet another human looking for a suitable vessel after Vincent.

Vince

Of course Lucifer had decided to possess one of his idols. A good old “fuck you” directed at him, it was no coincidence. Lucifer had been in his head, in the bunker and in his room. He knew him inside out and that was a vulnerability the Angel would always hold over him. The only thing of comfort as of late was that at least he was free from the visions and The Devil’s whispers in his head, or at least the ones sent by the Devil himself. His mind would still conjure up nightmares and hallucinations echoes of his broken soul but it was nothing compared to how it’d been before. But with Lucifer back and roaming the earth his mind had been in a fragile state, unknown to Dean And Cas but at least he had it under control.

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cypii:

cypii:

“— Or they’d try to have a movie night and whisper arguments back and forth at each other (which Sam had to stifle laughter at because it was utterly ridiculous watching how serious and frustrated they would get while Dean’s head was in Cas’ lap and their hands laced together) until Sam had to separate them by sitting between them, which only led to them arguing over or behind him. Sam couldn’t remember the last time he watched a movie start to finish and actually was able to pay attention to the entire thing.”

for Maddison’s delightful destiel fic Bottoms Up

(full picture here)

ladylilithprime:

The Blood Of My Enemies

And Other Coffee Cup Inspirations

Sastiel Creations Challenge | @ladylilithprime

Theme: Daily Life | Prompt: Dishes

Read On AO3

MOST OF THE time, the denizens of the Bunker were quick and conscientious of the dishes they used at each meal, washing and drying and putting away whatever plates and pans and utensils they had used the moment they were done with them. Sam had picked up the habit in college and, once they had their own kitchen with their own dishes to keep clean, Dean had been quick to adopt the practice. Castiel, when he was given the chance to spend time in the Bunker for meals, followed the brothers’ example of cleaning dishes immediately after use. It was efficient, a sensible economy of use and reuse that appealed to the part of him which still craved the structure of angelic hierarchy. Others who came and went quickly picked up on the unspoken rule of the Bunker’s dishwashing and followed suit.

Naturally, as with most rules by which the Winchesters lived, there were exceptions – two, specifically – which hinged both subtly and overtly on Sam. The first was in regards to dishes used to bring meals, usually consisting of a sandwich or some other finger food, to Sam (or Kevin) when he was deeply entrenched in research and forgot about the human necessity of feeding and hydrating himself. Dean was most often the one who brought the food to the stolid researcher and collected the dishes later after their contents had been consumed, though Castiel took his turn to deliver sustenance when he could. Occasionally he or Dean would have to remind their self-assigned charge that the food did more good on the inside of their bodies than sitting neglected beside them, but the cycle carried on and mercifully no one in the Bunker had yet died of starvation.

The second exception was, perhaps unsurprisingly, linked to the first, though it was not precisely due to Sam that the exception was made. The Bunker’s kitchen had come fully stocked with plates, bowls, cutlery, and glasses, and had also included a serviceable array of plain off-white coffee mugs. Castiel could not have pinpointed who began the process, but he suspected Dean had been the one to purchase dedicated markers for use in decorating the unremarkable ceramic surfaces. The decorations ranged from symbolic (as in literally just a collection of lines and pictures or symbols of no particular esoteric or mystical significance), to inspirational quotations, to pithy quips and sarcastic comebacks– occasionally a whole conversation of witty banter crammed onto the side of a single mug. Other mugs joined the collection, purchased or purloined from shop shelves for reasons only known to the ones who acquired and later added them to the Bunker’s collection, but the inscribing of those plain mugs with whatever came to mind continued, as did their use and circulation.

And circulation was indeed the most accurate term. What Castiel suspected was Sam’s instigation was the coffee mugs’ tendency to migrate to various and sundry points throughout the Bunker, carried by hands belonging to hunters in varying states of awareness or consciousness, distractedly sipped at until either the cup was emptied or something required the use of both hands, at which point the mug was set down upon whatever flat surface was nearest to hand and left to gather dust, whatever contents remained growing cold and developing a bacterial colony until the inevitable would occur– cleaning day.

This, Castiel knew, was very much Sam’s doing. Once per week, usually on a Thursday, Sam would hunt down every single coffee mug strewn about the Bunker and engage in a frenzy of washing and disinfecting them before carefully returning them to the cabinets to resume the cycle. Castiel had taken to joining him for these targeted cleaning efforts, switching off with Sam over who scrubbed the mugs and who wiped them down with first an alcohol pad and then a dry towel. The companionship had prompted Sam to read aloud some of the random quotations and commentary before the markings were scrubbed away, and Castiel obligingly reciprocated when it was his turn to scrub, sharing whatever inscription caught his attention as either poignant or entertaining, and sometimes hearing the stories from Sam about what had prompted their inclusion.

“The Blood of My Enemies” had originally been written by Kevin, angry and bitter and stewing in his own apparent helplessness, and now got written by Sam or Dean once a week in memorial to the young Prophet.

“If the Apocalypse is happening, beep me,” turned out to be a reference to a television series about a young warrior chosen to fight and kill vampires as a sacred duty, and had been written by Sam in a fit of irritation over the latest world-ending crisis that had come calling at the Winchesters’ doorstep.

“Tea-Drinking Apparatus” plus a crooked little pentacle showed up in Dean’s familiar scrawl in the wake of one of Rowena’s brief tenures as a guest in the Bunker, along with the long-cold and “well-cultured” remains of uncharacteristically milky coffee– Dean’s way of being petty towards the witch, Castiel guessed.

“This Is My First Cup: Silence Please” had actually been written by Castiel before he had presented the filled mug to Dean, causing Sam to very nearly spit out a mouthful of coffee when he woke enough to register the words. Sam’s mug that day had received the inscription “The Best Part of Waking Up is Waking Up to You” in tiny letters that Sam blushed to read, which Castiel had taken as a good sign. Unfortunately, his decision to flee with Kelly and hide her and her unborn Nephil child had interrupted the burgeoning flirtation and he had died again before they could speak about it any further.

Jack would have changed the routine of dish and mug use, Castiel knew, assuming that Dean had allowed the newborn into the Bunker. He was right, but only in that the fully grown Nephil had slotted into the same rotation of washing dishes as they were used and leaving coffee mugs lying around in random places. There were more mugs than Castiel remembered, too, because Jack kept acquiring new ones.

Jack had a mug from the sheriff’s office where he’d been held and where Sam had protected him, and another that Sam had bought for him as a combination of joke and encouragement that read “If You Believe In Telekinesis, Raise My Hand.” He had explained their origins to Castiel while carefully pouring coffee into the mug that had come from the town where he had worked his first case as a hunter, a dark blue oversized mug that Castiel suspected might have been intended to hold soup rather than coffee.

There was a collection of six mugs from random tourist stops and travel centers left in the Impala to be found after the mess with Kaia and the Bad Place, as the brothers had termed the dimension they had been sent to, separated from Jack and Mary by something unknown.

A mug reading “The secret to aging is to pick a number and stick with it,” showed up around the same time that Rowena became a regular resident despite Jack not even being in the same dimension at the time and no one could figure out how it got there with the yellow sticky note in Jack’s handwriting that looked uncannily similar to Sam’s.

A plain black mug with a chip in the bottom edge found its way into the cupboard after they returned from the “Apocalypse World”, and Castiel had actually been with Jack when he found the mug that read “Never Drive Faster Than Your Guardian Angel Can Fly” with the single painted gold feather.

In the wake of Lucifer’s death, possibly in an effort to distract them from the loss of Dean to the Apocalypse world’s Michael, Jack had procured two matching “World’s Best Father” mugs, one in blue and the other in an odd honey brown with green flecks that turned out to be hand-painted. Both of the mugs had been hand-painted and fired – by Jack, it turned out – at a pottery studio two hours away in Salina, and Jack had been hesitant as he presented the mugs to the pair. “I know that biologically it doesn’t work, but… I’m a Nephil, which means I have one angelic and one human parent, and you’ve both assured me that family isn’t just a blood connection–”

Sam, wonderful Sam, had cut off their son’s ramblings with a hug, one of those incredibly encompassing embraces that Castiel always failed at describing adequately despite fluency in every language ever created. Castiel did not wait for his turn, but instead stepped in close as Jack’s hands fisted in the back of Sam’s shirt and wrapped both arms and his tattered wings around the man he had mentally designated as his beloved and their son, communicating through the brush of his own brittle and damaged feathers against Jack’s young and much healthier primaries the acceptance, awe, joy, and love that suffused his Grace, emotions that magnified as Jack tentatively wrapped his own wings around his fathers.

It was only afterwards, when he and Sam were picking up their respective mugs only to be told by Jack to switch so that they would have each other’s eye color instead of their own, that Castiel realized Sam had not flinched away from the feel of their wings.