I work at a daycare with infants.
One of our baby girls is fat, in the 99th percentile for her age. She is super cute and sweet. Lately, she has been sick with various breathing issues, so she has been reluctant to take her bottles. Normally, she’ll take 4 ounces of formula at lunch and 8 ounces in the afternoon. Today, I was lucky to get to her take 5 all day.
There was a substitute covering a lunch break in my classroom today. We emphasized to her that we need to keep trying to get the baby to drink her bottle until she finished it. She said, “Why are you guys so worried about taking her bottle?”
My coworker replied, “That’s where all her nutrients are. She needs the nutrients and the water.”
To which the substitute replied, “But she’s so fat. She doesn’t need it.”
Thin privilege is a small, pretty baby getting better childcare because the caretaker doesn’t think she’s too fat to be allowed to eat.
This reminds me of a cousin of mine who ended up with her kids being taken away from her by social services for a number of reasons but mostly for nearly killing her baby daughter. How?
By starving her. She insisted that her baby was ‘too fat’ and had an aim to remove any and all ‘chubbyness’ so her baby would be thin. She’d already been warned by her doctor about the baby not getting enough food, but insisted she knew best.
After several months of this her baby passed out cold one day and was rushed into hospital where the doctors found her to have severe malnutrition, a low body temperature and low pulse rate. They asked my cousin what she’d been feeding her daughter and she said “one bottle of skimmed milk a day. I don’t want her growing up fat.”
Even after nearly killing her daughter my cousin maintained her view that fat = bad and ended up with all her kids taken from her because she was starving them and neglecting them.
When your fatphobia leads you to starving your own children then you’ve got serious problems.
(Note. She still, to this day, maintains the view that she was right and the doctors were wrong. “They just want fat kids so they can keep employed treating them for all those diseases that being fat causes.” = her actual words.)
My mom had me dieting with her when I was eleven. She had me eating less than 600 calories a day because she was worried I was going to “get huge.” She even grounded me once because she found out my friends were bringing me lunches! I ended up passing out, going to the ER, and getting two IVs at once BC I was so goddamn dehydrated. Soooooo surprised they didn’t call child services… And looking back, this was the root of my anorexia. I’m nearly 22 and still fighting it. Please don’t starve your fucking children.
For fucks sake babies are SUPPOSED to be fat, what is wrong with people? It’s just stored energy, and growing children need stored energy – an 11 year old is just about to hit some major growing years. Damn.
Fatphobia
Is
Real
and it kills
This is no joke. people will literally starve their own babies cause they don’t want them getting fat. A parent brought in their six month old baby who was having breathing issues and kept getting sick. the parent was asked if the baby was eating regularly and the parent straight up told the doctor that they only feed the baby once a day. ONCE A DAY. A FUCKING BABY. they even had the nerve to say because they didn’t want the baby to get fat. people like this are real. they would rather have a dead baby than a fat one.
My youngest son is a very big boy and has been since he was born. When he was 10 months old I took him for his well-baby check and vaccinations. The nurse noted his weight and said, quite casually, “He is in the 99th percentile for weight so he is at risk for obesity. You may want to keep an eye on that.” I said, “He is exclusively breastfed. He refuses to eat any solids yet.” What did she expect me to do? What would it mean to “keep an eye on” an exclusively breastfed baby’s weight?
She backed off saying, ‘Well he looks fine!” – proving once again that weight bias is not truly about health – But I know many other parents who are not as informed as I am about weight science and size diversity would react to this interaction by policing their child’s food intake, if not as an infant, then when he was an older child. This is exactly the type of seemingly-inconsequential interaction that starts the ball rolling on a lifetime of dieting, disordered eating, negative body image, and weight-based abuse for too many fat people.
Years later when he was five, another doctor measured his weight and height and commented that he is off the charts on both, but “at least he is in proportion.” And if he was not “in proportion,” I am sure I would have been advised once again to “watch his weight.”
I no longer allow healthcare providers to weight my children unless it is absolutely medically necessary. They are unable to control their weight talk, which is a known harm for children.
We need to completely eliminate weight talk from medicine, especially when it comes to children. Even the smallest exposure can have terrible consequences.
Wtf…
A friend from college had been going to the doctor because she was having trouble breathing. She was told to lose weight.
Over the course of several years, she went back to the doctors time and time again, telling them that she’d been sticking to the diet but because of her breathing problems she had been unable to even walk for more than 20 minutes at a time.
The doctor got her into an exercise programme and told her that she just needed to really try to lose weight because that was clearly the reason for her breathing problems.
By the time they found the tumour on her lungs, it was inoperable. She only lived three months after diagnosis. She was 25.
She’d had the tumour for over five years.
The doctor was so focused on the fact that my friend was “fat”, that they refused to look for any underlying cause.
They killed her.
Weight-first treatment KILLS. Fatphobia KILLS.
I have 2 scary stories to share about fatphobic doctors & parents harming their childs/patients’ health:
1. The 4 years old daughter of a friend of mine came to our house to spend the weekend. She gave me a letter from her mom that said that the child was in a glutenfree diet because she was getting ‘awfully fat’ when eating cookies or bread (my celiac ass; who gets dhiarrea and loses a scary amount of weight whenever I eat something with gluten was like ’???’).
You can bet that I went to the supermarket with the kid and told her ‘go & take whatever you feel like eating’ and the poor child came back smiling with her arms full of biscuits and cupcakes.
She didn’t got sick (as a celiac would get) and told me later that she hated the diet her mother made her follow; because her cousins didn’t had to pass through that.
And what’s the scariest thing about this story? Her mother was a NURSE. A fucking nurse who didn’t have a clue of the harm that she was doing to her daughter’s body!
2. My little sister started to feel fatigued and dizzy at 9 years old. She felt nauseated at the sight of food and had abdominal pain that increased with physical activity.
Mom got her to the ER and the doctor dismissed it saying: ‘she’s fat and probably is feeling ill after eating too much burgers, get her to make some exercise and she will be better in no time’.My mom didn’t felt ok with the diagnosis and took my sister with a second doctor who also told her that ‘the child was just fat’.
My sister’s skin was starting to get yellow as the days passed and the abdominal pain was getting awful so my mom (heaven bless her!) got her to the ER for the third time:
SHE HAD STAGE 4 HEPATITIS AND WAS ABOUT TO DIE.
She survived after a long and painful recovery who involved being in bed for a whole year (remember that we’re speaking of a 9 years old child). Luckily they saved her liver and she didn’t went through a transplant… but let this sink:
If it weren’t for my mother, fatphobia would have killed her. Fatphobia kills kids and teenagers, fatphobia kills inocent people everyday. It treats human beings as lesser than others and hurts them in their most vulnerable times.
It’s a real shame that we all have so much stories to share about this issue. A REAL SHAME.
Future doctors, interns, and residents following me:
FUCKING TAKE NOTE OF THIS!
Don’t let bias against your fat patients kill them!
i’d really like my thin followers to reblog this if you can. fat people are already here for each other, we need you guys to help us out too. this is something i never see anyone actually talking about in-depth, and it’s disappointing. be there for your fat siblings, too.
Tag: fatphobia
For as anti-conspiracy-theory as you act, you seem to have bought into the one that says weight loss is impossible for certain people. This idea violates the laws of thermodynamics. You can calculate how much energy is required to keep a mass of living tissue at 98.6°F and to keep the heart and lungs pumping. It is a lot. It will be well over 1,000 calories for all but the very small. An obese person that claims to eat less than 2000 kcal and still not lose weight must be a cold-blooded reptile.
That… isn’t a conspiracy theory.
I believe weight loss is possible. I have lost weight in the past.
It’s just that statistically it is extremely difficult to lose weight and keep it off for long periods of time.
And in some cases when people have disabilities and cannot exercise, they must rely on starvation diets or dangerous surgeries to lose weight.
Those are not healthy or desirable options. They are incredibly hard to maintain over long lengths of time. And they can lead to yo-yoing, eating disorders, busted staples, and other complications. Sometimes those options can be more dire than not losing weight in the first place.
You have the physics right, but you aren’t including every variable.
There is a complicated psychology to factor in. Things like depression can snuff out willpower and motivation. Food can be very addictive. It’s easier to gain than lose. So one might spend a week losing a few pounds, but then they have a couple of meals at a wedding or party and those few pounds come right back. Then one gets frustrated and thinks, “why am I bothering?” They eat their feelings and the cycle repeats.
The math is easy. The weight loss is hard.
Research has shown that 95 to 98 percent of attempts to lose weight fail and two-thirds of dieters gain back more than they lost. Why do you think the weight loss industry is a multi-billion dollar venture?
I’m sorry, but that makes me think it is a little more than just “fat people are lazy” or that we are fucking reptiles.
I see so many people lose a hundred pounds and immediately claim victory. Sometimes they will even deride other fat people and tell them it isn’t that hard. They parrot all the stereotypes saying it is a character flaw holding people back. Everyone is just “making excuses.”
“Maybe if they were better people, they’d be thin too!”
But that person doesn’t realize the stats are against them. Maybe they are the 5% that keep it off. Or maybe they’ll blow out their knee. Maybe they’ll get depressed. Maybe they’ll just miss eating cookies and pizza. And a few years later they are back where they started.
Circumstances matter.
These are not just excuses. Having problems is not weakness. It’s just bad luck. Not everything is always within our control.
No, I don’t subscribe to the typical “fat conspiracies” as you might call them.
I don’t believe everyone who is fat is healthy. And if they are healthy I know they have increased risks. And I know some people are unhealthy because they are fat. But thin people can be unhealthy too. Which means health is more than a number on a scale. So maybe weight loss isn’t always the only path to health.
I freely admit there is a line where the health risks are almost certain to come to fruition. I am not naive. I don’t say I have slow metabolism or bad genes or I’m big boned. I know it’s more complicated and most of those reasons do not always hold up well scientifically. Instead, I think it is a hundred little things that add up and contribute rather than a few common tropes.
Yes, I believe in body positivity. I don’t think shame is an effective motivator. I think respecting fat people will improve their health. I think the words “glorifying obesity” should never be spoken again. I think sometimes not losing weight is the best option for certain people. And in some cases, it might not be a viable option at all. So… not impossible. But maybe 99.99999% unlikely. I think people can make healthy decisions no matter what they weigh without the pressure of trying to shed mass. I think some fat people can be delusional but I think society and people like you help to fuel that.
If those are the conspiracies you think I ascribe to, then I am guilty as charged.
I got fat as a kid because I snuck food and didn’t know better. I have found over several decades that it is very hard for me to lose weight.
It just is.
I promise you.
I have on many occasions put in considerable effort to lose weight. I once lost 90 pounds on a starvation diet (basically what you described) and it was miserable. The hunger never went away. It felt awful all of the time. I doubt you would want to live like that perpetually. I sure didn’t.
I was balancing a delicate house of cards to keep the weight off. I ate rice cakes and crackers and salad and not much else. And you’re right, I was able to burn those calories as you described.
And then my best friend died.
I gained it all back in just a few months.
How does your math account for that?
How many kcal should I have eaten to satisfy my unbearable grief?
Yes, I personally am unhealthy because I am fat. I have diabetes and sleep apnea. But… my options suck. I don’t qualify for weight loss surgery. My CFS has become so intense that I can rarely escape my bed. My energy is so minimal that preparing meals is difficult. My money is so tight that I must buy food that is easy to cook and sold in bulk. I’d love healthier options. I’d love to get Blue Apron’s diabetic meal plan. But usually all I can afford is a giant frozen bag of chicken nuggets.
Got any equations for that?
Any fancy formulas to address that happenstance?
Also, I have food addiction issues and my depression has killed any sense of willpower I once had. But I need food to survive so it’s not like I can avoid eating.
Is there anything in the laws of thermodynamics to solve that?
Will the Pythagorean Theorem cure addiction? Or depression?
You don’t know what you are talking about and it is insulting you think you can simplify this issue in a Tumblr ask.
Bottom line… effective long-term weight loss can be immensely complicated.
So maybe don’t go around patronizing fat people because you took a physics course.
The 95% of people who fail to lose weight would like to tell your laws of thermodynamics to go to hell.
I’d add the the person arguing with sirfrogsworth is acting on the assumption that a living body is a fairly simple machine, that does not react to its environment and, say, adjust its metabolism to burn fewer calories if fewer calories start coming in.
Exactly.
While most people’s natural metabolic rate is not hugely varied from person to person and typically does not factor much into issues of exaggerated weight loss or gain (as is the common myth), losing weight via starvation-style diets can create a sort of hostile metabolism.
“Losing just 3 percent of your body weight results in a 17 percent slowdown in your metabolism—a body-wide starvation response that blasts you with hunger hormones and drops your internal temperature until you rise back to your highest weight. Keeping weight off means fighting your body’s energy-regulation system and battling hunger all day, every day, for the rest of your life.“
–Everything You Know About Obesity Is Wrong
I would encourage anyone who is fit or thin to read the above article. I know it is a really long read, but I would consider it a personal favor.
One of the most valuable things you can do as an ally is find ways to relate, empathize, and understand. I think this article might give you some insight in that regard.
It is not about how to lose weight. It is a detailed essay on why respecting and loving fat people can significantly improve their health. Both physically and mentally. It can help them respect and love themselves.
The article provides ample evidence that shame is actually the worst way to help those who struggle with obesity. And it shows that you can make healthy choices, reduce many risks, all without the pressure of losing weight.
If you are overweight I don’t think it is 100% necessary to read the article. I have a feeling you already know most of its contents. I found it emotionally difficult to read. So if you are having a poor mental health day, maybe skip it or save it for another day.
Also, don’t read the comments.
Even with tons of sourced research people cannot seem to get the message. Or they refuse to give up their current beliefs. Or they keep asking why an article that isn’t about how to lose weight doesn’t tell people how to lose weight.
They can’t comprehend the concept that hating fat people is literally making us sick.
artherra 