REVIEWS FOR VENOM JUST CAME IN AND IT’S A 28% ON ROTTEN TOMATOES!!!!!! THIS MOVIES GONNA BE SO FUCKIN FUNNY IM SO EXCITED. GOD I LOVE TERRIBLE SPIDERMAN MOVIES
“If you replaced Tom Hardy for Steve Martin in “All of Me,” and switched out Lily Tomlin for a wad of chewed-up black licorice, you’d have “Venom.”“
“When a major fight scene resembles a pair of black pants caught in a white wash, it’s fair to say you haven’t taken the audience with you.”
“It’s a train wreck of a movie, mixing and matching wildly dissonant tones, bizarre plot contrivances, and a truly unique lead performance.”
“Tom Hardy seems to be trying to be the first actor to win an Oscar and a Razzie for the same performance.”
“A film that feels like what you’d expect from a below average superhero flick circa 2004, like Ghost Rider or Fantastic Four.”
^ some of my fave critic review excerpts. i have never been more excited
some more
“The movie is so ridiculous that many viewers will at least be entertained in a dumbfounded way.”
“Think Affleck Daredevil. Think Ang Lee Hulk. Think Halle Berry Catwoman. That’s… I mean, that’s really all there is to be said, I think.”
“This is a movie that somehow slipped through a wormhole from 2004. That’s my biggest take. It’s a movie that spilled from the pre-MCU era through a crack in time and space… The humor, the story beats, everything right down to the Eminem theme song feels like it emerged Kimmy Schmidt style from a sealed off early ‘00s bunker.”
“Sorry to say that Venom is pretty much a complete failure — a tonal mess that feels 15 years old, ignoring the storytelling strides that the superhero genre has made in recent years.”
“Not sure I had the intended reactions to some scenes, but fun is fun — even when it’s totally ridiculous, right? It’s too bad they didn’t go for the R rating, though.”
“The cast seems to all know they’re in a darker superhero movie, except Tom Hardy who is basically remaking Jim Carrey’s Liar Liar.”
“At one point Tom Hardy and Venom make out.”
gonna go see it just for the make out honestly
I was completely fine and then “At one point Tom Hardy and venom make out”
“You can’t have a character with big boobs and not sexualise them”
“There aren’t any feminist female characters that want to do things that are typically feminine”
“There aren’t any badass gay characters”
“There aren’t any cool/badass disabled characters”
“Okay well what about disabled POC characters?”
“There are no interesting or complex villains! None that ever question their morals, or have an interesting motive”
“There aren’t any women characters that don’t just do things for men”
“I want a poc character that fights against racism”
“There aren’t any cool characters that aren’t young and healthy”
“There are no male characters that like feminine things”
Need I go on? Go watch Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood.
Fullmetal alchemist also tackled the issues of imperialism, genocide, PTSD, friendly fire, racism, war brutality, and military corruption unflinchingly. “Most military commanders are killed by their own disgusted soldiers.” indeed.
I just realized that most women in the FMA universe have big boobs and that this isn’t even highlighted in the series (or in the manga).
…This took me a while…
I’m wearing my FMA shirt today, so this must be reblogged.
I love this….those kids are geniuses…and do they actually know how to play/tongue/bow the instrument they were playing in that video? Not doubting them or anything it just looked like they swapped instruments….
Ok, as the person in the blue shirt on the left, I can explain what is going on here.
On the far left, you see a clarinetist playing a broken cello. She does not know how to play the cello. (Nor does that cello have any intention of being played.)
My friend and I are collectively playing a frankenstein of an instrument that I like to call the “Eb bassooninet.” It’s an Eb clarinet with a bassoon bocal attached. It sounds like a dying duck.
The bassoonist in the middle is the only one playing a normal instrument normally.
Second from the right, you see a clarinetist playing half a clarinet.
Finally, on the far right you see a clarinetist playing a Bb clarinet that is pulled out so far at every joint that it approximates an A clarinet.
The best part about this video is that everyone is actually a really accomplished musician, not that you’d guess it xD
au contraire, this is the kind of thing ONLY accomplished musicians are fucking weird enough to come up with
i always thought of a king sized bed as being a bit bigger than a queen, but now that i have one, i can tell you that a king sized bed is an absurdity. i can sprawl out, and my husband can sprawl out, and the cat can sprawl out, and none of us are touching. i reach out in the night, and find only pillows and plush walruses. i reach further and eventually find his elbow. he rolls over the comforters to try and find me. “i have crossed oceans of bed to be with you,” he says. there is a vast expanse of bed untouched, unmapped, unexplored. the cat is still trying to sleep on my face.
the best part is all the people reblogging this under the impression that my husband was being poetic rather than quoting a porn comic
Um…kind of think Kevin has the right considering that violation resulted in his death. Just sayin’…Kevin isn’t mad at Dean and he is dead. Sam is still alive, yeah, Dean crossed a major line, but, if the dead guy can forgive, I think Sam can too.
Still doesn’t mean Sam should react the same way Kevin does. They have very different histories. It’s not fair to say that just because I didn’t think it was a big deal nobody else should either.
Yeah, it’s a dangerous misreading and oversimplification to say that because Kevin suffered the most extreme consequence of Dean’s actions (death), he has the right to set the terms of forgiveness. For one thing, Kevin’s death was an accidental side-effect of Dean’s decision, Sam’s violation was not. Dean didn’t deliberately choose to murder Kevin. He did deliberately choose to violate Sam. So I would say that despite the fact that Kevin suffered the most final consequence, Sam was more and more directly wronged by Dean.
Moreover, when it came to Kevin’s death Dean acknowledged the injury to Kevin, expressed regret, and apologized. I don’t have huge faith in the idea of the magic apology, and I’m not sure that Dean had really distinguished the things he himself truly was responsible for in Kevin’s death from the primary responsibility of Metatron and Gadreel so as to get past his own tendency to use guilt to evade responsibility and change, but at least there was some groundwork on Dean’s side for forgiveness. When it comes to the violation of Sam, Dean’s last word on the subject as of Captives – and that hasn’t changed as of now, since Dean’s closest (not-very-close) approach to an apology in 9.23 only covered the last couple of months, not the Gadreel possession – was that he was right and would do what he did again.
The message that Sam and Dean are both still alive and therefore there still exists the hope that they can resolve the issues between them and move on to a better relationship isn’t a horrible message. But the idea that that could be accomplished by Sam, who was the injured party, forgiving the noncon possession, mindwiping, and gaslighting and moving on is both meaningless and distasteful. There are some circumstances in which unilateral forgiveness is a healthy thing, but when we are talking about an ongoing relationship and an injurious behavior that the perpetrator has explicitly reserved the right to repeat, ‘forgiveness’ would in this instance be Sam acquiescing in his own abuse.
(I am very, very doubtful about the prospect of canon ever really dealing with this, so I think the central relationship of Spn is going to continue to be a queasy horror show, but even if Kevin in Captives does represent authorial voice, that doesn’t make it right. It makes it all the more terrifying.)
“There is a certain irony here, because many of the first werewolves to be outed in society from the 16th through the 18th centuries were actually women. Just as our American ancestors had their Salem Witch Trials, Europe had its Werewolf Trials, and a large number of the so-called “werewolves” tortured and burned at the stake were female. […]
In the 17th-century werewolf trials of Estonia, women were about 150 percent more likely to be accused of lycanthropy; however, they were about 100 percent less likely to be remembered for it.”
“Here’s also a pronounced lack of female werewolves in popular culture. Their near absence in literature and film is explained away by various fancies: they’re sterile, an aberration, or—most galling of all—they don’t even exist.Their omission from popular culture does one thing very effectively: It prevents us, and men especially, from being confronted by hairy, ugly, uncontrollable women. Shapeshifting women in fantasy stories tend to transform into animals that we consider feminine, such as cats or birds, which are pretty and dainty, and occasionally slick and wicked serpents. But because the werewolf represents traits that are accepted as masculine—strength, large size, violence, and hirsutism—we tend to think of the werewolf as being naturally male. The female werewolf is disturbing because she entirely breaks the rules of femininity.”
— Julia Oldham, Why Are There No Great Female Werewolves?
artherra 